By Angela Minor   Mon, Jan 25, 2010

The story opens with Genia Stevens, host of SistersTalkRadio, posting a call to lesbians in Wisconsin to join in and listen to her gay and lesbian talk radio show/podcast...

Among the many responses she received, came one from Andrea Kleinheksel. While telling herself that this is strictly business Genia simultaneously had the tingling thought, "Oooh, she's kinda cute!" Both women had been single for a number of years so they tentatively began their conversations with video conferencing. "To see each other without being in each other's space helped make our first date not so awkward," states Genia. When recalling that first month, Andrea says, "It was worth waiting for." At the time, neither Genia nor Andrea was looking for a relationship, so naturally, that is when it happened!

Although their relationship was new, Valentine's Day was approaching. Regarding this holiday, Andrea says, "After years of being single you just don't see the significance." According to Genia, Andrea just did not like Valentine's Day - "too commercialized, and on and on." Genia states to Andrea, "After this one you are going to love it!" Shortly after, Andrea received flowers at work and a tiny box of candy hearts. She still has the box!

While many women in the lesbian community will rush into a relationship with someone they hardly know, Genia and Andrea took the more mature approach. As the days and weeks passed, they took the time and made the effort to get to know each other. "It's like building a house - a process," says Andrea. "We're not children, we're adults. How we make decisions and move through the relationship is guided by that - no drama," states Genia. Andrea adds, "We don't take on what we can't handle and we don't rush into things." She continues that they are better equipped to make mature decisions partly because "we had a full life as individuals before our relationship began."

This was a particularly salient approach that the couple utilized with Genia's two teenage sons. Andrea is a teacher yet had never been in a relationship with a partner that had children. After the three-month "meet-the-children waiting period" had passed, Genia introduced Andrea. The waiting period allowed them time to develop their adult relationship. Meeting the children was the next step toward developing relationships that would bond them as a family. "She was getting me and two children and all the drama that comes with two teenagers," states Genia. While Andrea understandably felt a bit nervous, she states, "I have always felt comfortable around Genia's kids. I'm not mom. I'm mom's partner."

More opportunities for growth as a couple and as a family are just over the horizon as Genia, Andrea and the two boys plan on relocating to the Atlanta area. Part of this decision was based on the desire to have a home together. The couple had a short conversation about Andrea moving in with Genia and the boys. On this topic Genia comments that it would not be a good idea because "it's my house, my rules - I am the queen! We need a place together as our house where I am not the queen anymore!" The couple is planning on spending this Valentine's Day in Atlanta doing a bit of house hunting, visiting friends, having a special dinner, and spending quality time at a nice hotel in a hot tub. The latter being one of the favorite romantic pastimes they enjoy together (even if it is at a hotel five minutes from home!) along with travel, music, and dancing.

At present Genia and Andrea combine their talents on the SistersTalk podcast titled She Said, She Said. Listen to Sisterstalk RadioNominate SistersTalk Radio to win a Lezzy Award in the Best Lesbian Podcast category. Click here: http://bit.ly/b3RA4Y (the url is SistersTalkRadio.net)

These broadcasts are filled with the upbeat energy and humorous discussions the two women have on all manner of topics at hand. Listeners get the very real sense of this couple experiencing life together in a comedic, thoughtful, and insightful way with an engaging dose of editorial snark! When discussing the topic of moving to the South as a mixed race couple, Genia states, "My family has met Andrea; it's not a big deal. I showed up once with a white man - they're used to me being odd!"

Reflecting on this past year, Andrea states, "I know that my life is going in the direction it is supposed to go." Before posting on MySpace, Genia was ready to move to another state. Now she says, "I met Andrea and understood why I had to stick around in Wisconsin a little longer. The universe rearranges itself so that you can find that person you are supposed to find." Both agree that a "balance between remaining true to your individuality and sharing yourself with another person" is the definition of a healthy same gender relationship. According to Genia, "Love is wearing a blindfold and letting your partner walk you across a busy Atlanta freeway. You trust that she will not let go..."

For Genia and Andrea there will be safe travel on whatever busy freeway of life they encounter!

By   Sat, Jan 30, 2010

According to wikipedia, Valentine's Day or Saint Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrated on February 14 throughout the world. In most English-speaking countries, it is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by exchanging cards, flowers, candy and/or gifts. Sharing a special meal at home or at a restaurant is often part of the celebration as well. It can be expensive if you're not careful and disappointing if you aren't mindful.

So here's the question:

Need more ideas? Read Coach Sappho's Blog

By Angela Minor   Sat, Jan 30, 2010

As Tracy Baim, with fresh Journalism Degree in hand, stepped out of Drake University in 1984 she began a journey that has earned the respect and admiration of many in the niche market of LGBT media as well as those in the mainstream media. At the time of her graduation, the media world that focused on the gay and lesbian community consisted of local magazines, weekly "bar rags," a few slick copy magazines, and a countable number of published books. She began her meteoric career in 1984 as an editorial assistant at GayLife newspaper in Chicago where it took her only one year to advance to Managing Editor.

In the fall of 1985, Tracy co-founded Windy City Times and in 1987 she was the founding publisher and editor of Outlines. Working 70-hours per week, she and her cadre of volunteers "built one of the earliest gay newspaper websites and e-mail databases" with the latter publication. During the 1990s, Tracy continued to build a base of media formats to address the range of coverage on LGBT issues neglected by the mainstream media. "There are hundreds of stories the mainstream does not cover within the LGBT community," states Tracy. "The mainstream will do some coverage, and more frequently now does include gays in coverage... But they just do not have the space or access to do the kind of depth a weekly gay newspaper, with a Web site updated daily, can do."

During this decade, Tracy was the founding co-chair of the Chicago Area Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, received many journalism and service awards from the ACLU, Human Rights Campaign, NOW - Chicago Chapter, Le Femmes Amies, Association of Latin Men in Action, Dignity/Chicago, Lesbian Community Cancer Project, and many others. Tracy was also recognized on Today's Chicago Women "100 Women to Watch" list as well as Crain's Chicago Business "40 Under 40" business leaders ranking. A short ten years after beginning her career, she became the youngest inductee into the City of Chicago Gay and Lesbian Hall of Fame.

Since 1995, Tracy has shared her life with partner Jean Albright, a member of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network and a force to be reckoned with in her own right. The couple is shown here with nephew Anthony Pulford preparing to set sail on the R Family Cruise this past summer.

At the dawn of the new millennium, Tracy repurchased Windy City Times from her co-founder. This weekly newspaper reaches 50,000 readers and is now part of the Windy City Media Group, Inc. (WCMG) that also includes: Nightlines, an 8,000 copy entertainment weekly, Identity, a monthly online magazine, Windy City Queercast, an online podcast, QueerTVNetwork.com, a video channel, and sister publications titled OUT!, Nightspots, BLACKlines, and En La Vida. The publisher and managing editor of WCMG is, you guessed it, Tracy!

The most recent decade has been rich with more awards and recognitions for Tracy, including the 2005 Studs Terkel Award. While she continues to meet and surpass the responsibilities at WCMG, Tracy has also been active with leadership roles in the Gay Olympic Games. Her other recent projects include editing the first history book of Chicago's gay community, Out and Proud in Chicago: An Overview of the City's Gay Community, which is a companion piece to the film of the same name. In 2008, Tracy launched yet another project to capture the rich gay and lesbian history of the area via oral history videos. This project, www.ChicagoGayHistory.com, has documented the stories and experiences of over 270 people thus far. During this same year, Tracy served as the Executive Producer of the indie film, Hannah Free, adapted from the award-winning stage play by Claudia Allen. The film stars Sharon Gless and made its début at the Castro Theatre, San Francisco in the summer of 2009. It is a must see for couples who have committed for the long term.

Tracy once stated, "It's upsetting that homophobia still lives." Clearly, she is on a mission like no other to eradicate this with a celebration of the beauty and diversity of gay and lesbian life!

By Michele O'Mara, LCSW   Sat, Jan 30, 2010

Coming out is a challenging process, whether you are 15, 21, or 50. The first step toward "coming out" is self-awareness or recognition of having feelings of attraction for persons of the same sex. This awareness may lead to confusion, attempts to deny or repress feelings of attraction, anxiety about unwanted feelings, or even attempts to "pass" as heterosexual. It is no secret that in our society there are a lot of societal stigmas, and negative feelings about being gay. As a result, some people delay, deny, avoid, and reject having any awareness of feelings of attractions for persons of the same sex. Sometimes these attractions are repressed deeply enough to be out of one's conscious awareness.

In this state of denial (which can be either conscious or unconscious), men and women sometimes pursue heterosexual relationships. Some men and women experience many years of heterosexual relationships that sometimes include marriage and children. Sometimes, though, these men and women, for various reasons, begin to develop a greater self-awareness. This awareness may be triggered by various things such as: an undeniable attraction to someone of the same sex, a function of maturity and greater self-exploration, or a sense of emptiness or longing that stems from having emotional needs that have not be met by their heterosexual relationships because of their same-sex attractions.

If you are someone in this position, and you are starting to explore or allowing yourself to become aware of attractions you have long denied, this can be a painful experience. Coming out to yourself and others is complicated when you experience this in the context of a committed heterosexual relationship. It is important, however, to know that you are not the only one experiencing this. There are many others like you. The following suggestions offer you some guidance about how to embark on this journey toward a greater understanding of your feelings and your authentic sexual orientation.

1. Identify a supportive friend or person with whom you can begin to identify and share your conflicting feelings.

2. Start a journal. Document what you are feeling and find a way to express these. Containing conflicting feelings can be overwhelming and confusing. Take your time. Pay close attention to your feelings and expect to feel very sad and confused for some time. That is normal.

3. Find a gay-friendly counselor with whom you can process your feelings.

4. Acknowledge to your spouse that you're struggling with some confusing feelings. If you are in a relationship, acknowledge to him or her that you are struggling to understand some things about yourself that are confusing and that they are about you, not her. Explain that when you feel ready, you will share what you are experiencing with her. Reassure him in ways that feel honest to you such as: "you have done nothing wrong," "this is not about you," "I need to understand myself better before I can explain to you what I am feeling and that's why I am going to a therapist - to get help doing that." "I would like you to be a part of my process, but I need to understand what my process is before I can include you in it."

5. Identify your potential losses (former identity as heterosexual and all that accompanies that) and allow yourself to feel sad about these potential losses.

6. Explore with your therapist what it means to you to be gay. Growing up we either learn incorrect information about homosexuality, no information, or accurate information. It is essential to recognize the messages you grew up with that may not be accurate or true. These incorrect messages can negatively affect how you feel about yourself.

7. Recognize feelings of shame and find ways to let it go. One of the most painful parts of what you are going through is the intense amount of shame that often overshadows how you feel about yourself. Shame is the feeling that you are a "bad" person, or that you have done something very wrong. Shame is a common emotion felt by people in this situation and it can revolve around a lot of things, such as:

• Feeling a sense of self-betrayal, for not allowing yourself to explore your orientation more directly, sooner
• A feeling of betraying others and feeling like you've "led a lie" or misled loved ones.
• Feeling like you've wasted years by not being honest with yourself or others.
• Simply thinking that being gay is a bad, sinful or wrong thing.

If you can identify your shame (if you are aware of this feeling) and let it go (by talking about this with your therapist, journal writing, etc.) you can also get rid of some of the denial, fear, disgust, etc. that may keep you from being honest with yourself in this process.

8. Be honest with yourself. (Often we become confused to protect ourselves from our own truths. One of the things that gay and lesbian people tend to do is distrust our own feelings because we are socialized to believe that what we feel is "wrong," "bad," or "not real.")

9. Journal write what you are feeling. Writing is an excellent way to clarify and sort through conflicting feelings.

10. Read books on being gay, coming out, and related issues.

11. Find other gay/lesbian-identified people with whom you can connect. This is an important part of decreasing the sense of aloneness and isolation that you may be feeling.

12. Maintain balance in your life (such as eating, sleeping, working, time with kids/family/friends, etc). Coming out to yourself and others is an emotionally draining process. The sense of loss during this process can be overwhelming and leave you with a very lonely, scared feeling. Be sure to tend to the other important areas of your life so that you can retreat from this process to a place that is comfortable and familiar to you if you begin to feel overwhelmed.

©Michele O'Mara, LCSW

By   Fri, Feb 26, 2010

Called by God

Joey Heath is a 26 year old life long United Methodist. He is currently a graduate student at Wesley Theological Seminary completing his Masters in Divinity. Once an ordained pastor, Joey hopes he will be able to bring real change to the UMC on the issues of sexuality and gender identity at the broader church level, but also with individuals, so that one day the church will truly be a place that is inclusive of all people.

Matters of Gay Faith blog posts from various authors discuss matters of faith, spirituality and institutional religion affecting the LGBT community with special emphases on same-sex couples and their families. Click Here for Other Matters of Gay Faith Posts

By   Mon, Feb 15, 2010

I Know What I Wish I Could Give Her

We keep pointing at the inequality that exists between us, and trying to change minds without being as brutal and hateful as those who oppose us. I doubt we ever could be. I don't think that my circle of gay friends even have it in them to mirror the mindset of the people who apparently hate and fear us more than anything else. Submitted by Suzanne Magee

Queer and Now blog posts from various authors discuss general matters affecting the LGBT community with special emphases on same-sex couples and their families. Click here for other Queer and Now Posts

By   Tue, Jan 19, 2010

By   Fri, Oct 30, 2009

365 Days of Gay Love and Lesbian Romance

from Trevor and Alex -- Cuddling on the sofa while watching a touching romantic movie, identifying closely with the emotions expressed in the movie, turning to each other and smiling because we identify so dearly with such emotions. We enjoy watching movies or symbols reaffirming our love for each other.

from Jeffrey -- Darkness, Candles & undivided attention.

from Dion and Benjamin -- A nice meal, discussion, and activity

from Donna -- For our first anniversary I gave my girlfriend a Vase with a label that simply said, "I Love...".  Inside were 365 little tags filled with sweet things like "waking up with you every morning" or "the way your eyes sparkle when you smile" to some that were a bit dirty and fun.  She has enjoyed them and even takes one or two with her if she has to travel on business. I get some nice "Awwws" and kisses or giggles/a gasped covered mouth depending on what the message says but always she smiles and she sees yet another thing I love about her. We've even made it part of our morning routine for getting ready and it is something we try and always do together.  She usually lets me pick from the vase.  It took a little time and thought but it wasn't expensive and it has paid back the time/thought investment 100 times over.

from Billy and Bob -- It's romantic all the time. Billy likes to cook. Bob likes to take walks together. They both like lying around watching a movie.

from Genia and Andrea -- We don't do a lot of romance at home.  We like to rent a hotel room (even if it's 5 minutes from the house) that has a hot tub!

from Jeff O -- A home-cooked meal with the fancy dishes and silverware over a candle-light dinner; then cuddle time while watching movies.

from Deneil and Sandi -- Making dinner together with some iPod mix going on in the background.  Sandi is a great sous chef.  Then once we eat our scrumptious yet simple dinner, we get cozy on the couch and watch a movie.

from Anna and Cory -- We  were able to get Disneyland passes last year for Christmas. Just Cory and I . The boys do not know. Shh! So once or twice a month we pack a lunch and take the hour drive and go to Disneyland together, just the 2 of us! we  love it! Its a great day full of laughter and great times!

from Dan -- Ordering out and watching TV uniterrupted

from Matthew -- Shushi, Champaign, and Cupcakes- laying on the sofa looking out the windows at the New York skyline.  Maybe a little TV.  Or, taking a walk holding hands.

By   Sat, Jan 30, 2010

Here is a fun and insightful quiz to help you think about the spice in your romantic relationships. Its only ten questions.  So go ahead, take this quiz and find out -- What's Your Romance Temperature?

© 1996-2006 The Positive Way, Steven Martin, Catherine Martin, All rights reserved. Used with permission. www.positive-way.com

By   Sat, Jan 30, 2010

Our handsome feature couple, Ric and Paul, share a home in Kansas City, Missouri. We're sending you sloppy kisses with our congrats for your 24 years together. Thanks for sharing guys.

Also celebrating this month . . .

February 10

Lelia and Tashika, in love and engaged in Boone, North Carolina celebrate one year. 

February 11

Stephanie and Yaliska of Beverly, Maine will celebrate two years together. 

February 13

Jill and MIsty celebrating two years together in Santa Barbara, California.

February 14

Married since 2004, Mike and Davy celebrate their lucky thirteen in Indiana.

February 14

Tom and Chintu celebrate three years in Ohio this Valentine's Day.

February 15

Gary and Steve celebrating 22 years in Troy, New York.

February 16

Lea and Heather will celebrate eight years together in North Carolina.

February 18

Novelist, Armistead Maupin, author of Tales of the City and photographer spouse, Christopher Turner celebrate five years together.

Did We Miss Your Anniversary?

Log in and add your profile to the 10,000 Inspiring Couples Gallery and it won't happen again.

By Kellie Lee Owen   Fri, Jan 29, 2010

If you and your mate have been through it all and have decided to start your relationship anew then here are a few tips to manifest your renewal.  Starting anew means just that.  Everyone gets a clean slate.  You must both forgive and forget in order to move on.  Moving on does not mean giving someone a free pass to do what they have done before, but it does mean that you do not bring up past failures.  If you have a big fight, that does not give you a free pass to bring up the past. 

Trusting completely is another step towards moving away from a painful experience.  Breaking trust can happen in many ways.  Hanging someone on the cross every time you are suspicious is not a positive step forward.  Either you trust or you do not.  The person who has done the betraying can only promise to do right by you.  They cannot prove themselves unless you give them the chance. 

Try to get into the other person's head.  Try to understand that although they are expressing themselves badly, they are hurt and afraid.  Hear what they are truly saying instead of what they appear to be saying. 

Do not react to provocation.  Just because your mate is behaving badly does not justify you doing the same type of behavior.  Choose your words. Choose when you will discuss the problem.  Stay in control of yourself and remember you cannot control your mate. 

Change your old patterns.  If she comes home late, stop imagining her getting a little something from the hottie with whom she works.  When she gets home, greet her with loving open arms instead of anger and suspicion.

Begin new rituals that restore intimacy.  Date night is always a great first step.  NOTHING gets in the way of date night. 

If he loves the rodeo, then go to the rodeo with him.  Do not try to love the rodeo, instead watch him enjoying the rodeo.  Love him loving the rodeo. 

Take a weekend getaway as often as possible.  Seeing someone in a different, relaxed environment is a great way to get reacquainted.  You need not fly to Hawaii, just go to the motel down the street and have a swim.

See only the positive in your mate.  See all that she does right instead of all that she does wrong.  Do the same with yourself.  See only what you do right in the relationship.  Seeing positives creates more of the same in the relationship.

Have a meeting once a week to discuss your relationship.  Be calm, be loving and be nurturing.  Practice active listening.  Hear what is said and repeat it back to your partner.

Be willing to experiment.  Work the plan you set with your mate.  Pay attention to what your mate is going through instead of just how it affects you.  Be as good to your mate as you are to your best friend.  Remember that ultimately this is the person with whom you have chosen to spend your life and the quality of that life is as dependent on your actions and thoughts and feelings as it is hers. 

By David Loofbourrow   Fri, Jan 29, 2010

Nosing around second-hand shops, road (flea) markets and yard sales is a great way to spend some quality time with your partner. Not only do you learn a lot about each other's interests and tastes, but you just might find that perfect knickknack rack to display your grandmother's tea cup collection.

Recently, I visited the beautifully appointed home of Chicago real estate agent and long-time antique dealer Jeffery Cobb and his spouse Wilbert. With their extensive artwork collection of modern artist Stanley Mitruk on the walls to the Persian carpets on the floor, their home is full of antique furniture, porcelain dishes, sculptures and other items from many eras. Jeff graciously answered my questions about antiques which will help us all be smarter consumers, collectors and investors.

What exactly is an "antique"?

Jeff explained that while the U.S. Customs service considers anything older than 100 years old to be an antique, it is actually more complicated than that. "In furniture, for example, antique collectors consider only pieces made before the Industrial Revolution - 1830's and earlier - to be true antiques," Jeff explained. Everything else, generally called "smalls" by dealers and collectors, depends on several factors of age and origin, he went on to describe.

There are a couple of other distinctions as well. One is "antiquities" which refers to artworks and items that are thousands of years old (think "Elgin Marbles"), are of historical importance and belong in museums. On the other side of the scale are "collectables"; items which may be old or new that people enjoy collecting, such as porcelain dolls, silver tea spoons or comic books.

What makes antiques valuable?

Official category aside, most of us just enjoy antiques for their beauty and history. Admit it, you have secretly longed for that 1930's chrome and Formica breakfast table with the patent leather padded chairs. I know I can't part with my old suitcase and steamer trunk collection, even though it has become a decorating nightmare. And many of us find comfort in the memories of our family represented by the furniture or dishes we inherited.

However, I am sure that some of us hope to retire from the sale of a treasure we uncover in Grandma's attic - so I asked Jeff to describe why some antiques are worth thousands while other older or rarer items are not.

There are at least six factors which determine the value of an antique. First is the item's age and rarity.

Jeff explains, "It is not rare just because it is old, but it also depends on how many were originally made and how many examples have survived. Things created to be temporary, such as playbill posters or ticket stubs to historic events, can be valuable way out of proportion to their size and age."

The second factor is condition. China and glassware generally must have no cracks or chips to be of high value. Real antique furniture, to be at its best value, should have the original finish intact even if there are signs of wear - so don't get busy with your Tung oil refinishing kit until you consult an expert. Being in near perfect condition is the difference between a valuable investment and a piece of old furniture.

"Quality is an often overlooked feature of a high value antique," Jeff said. "Just like today, items were made of varying degrees of quality to be sold to the rich or to the common person. This takes a lot of experience and research sometimes, to determine where it was sold and who it was sold to. For example, Tiffany Glassworks was top of the line while many companies like Stuben created knock-offs. Lalique was beautiful but Fabergé was better. Was the item designed or built by a recognized artist or an unknown craftsman?"

Related to quality is provenance, which means having various forms of documentation that proves the origin and previous owners of the antique or artwork. This may come in the form of original receipts, old letters describing the item, signature of the owner on the item, or a photo of a famous person with the item. A pair of spectacles with proof they belonged to Ben Franklin would be worth many times more than the same item without the provenance. Even so, Jeff joked that, "If all the spectacles reported to be owned by Mr. Franklin were lined up they might stretch for several miles. Be careful on this point, and get the help of a professional appraiser if the investment is large."

Finally and perhaps the most influencing factor on the value of any antique, is popularity. All the other factors combined don't really matter if no one is buying; and conversely, if you want what is hot right now, you will pay a premium to get it. Antiques and collectables go in and out of style just like retro bell bottom pants do in the world of fashion. When the movie Titanic came out, absolutely everything remotely related to the sunken ship went through the roof, reported Jeff. "Several years ago, antique roll-top desks were very pricey - but now, with large computer monitors and such, their value is quite low."

What is your best advice for antiquing?

Jeff recommends to, "have lots of fun searching for and collecting the things that you really love. You probably won't get rich investing in antiques, but the money you do spend, statistics show, will increase faster than inflation. However, surrounding yourselves with the beauty of the past is the real payoff."

So take some time off this month to spend shopping with your sweetie. Hopefully you will see something worth dreaming about and saving for - maybe Noel Coward's writing desk or Marlene Dietrich's cigarette holder. Good luck - and if you find any cute old suitcases, be sure to let me know!

Contact Jeffery Cobb at www.JeffCobbSells.com for information about his store, auctions, and real estate in Chicago, IL, USA. Learn more about artist Stanley Mitruk at www.StanleyMitruk.com.

By Delena Wilkerson   Sat, Jan 30, 2010

Meet Dion Wong and Benjamin Aquino, Jr

The word “Ladlad” means, “being unfolded” in Filipino; a term the Filipino LGBT community has adopted to mean “coming out.” When Benjamin Aquino, Jr., came out many years ago, however, the term was not used this way. In fact, he was the first person ever to go public about his homosexuality in Solano, Nueva Vizcaya Province in the Philippines, where he was born. This small village of about 56,000 residents is no doubt still reeling.

Not only did Benjamin go public; he organized others in a group to "do good works," just as his Christian upbringing had compelled him to do. He was determined that the people in his village equate "being gay with being good." Indeed, as a former Private Duty Nurse to several elderly gay and lesbian couples, and currently working at the AltaBates Summit Medical Center in Oakland, Calif., and active in charity work, Benjamin is still making an impact - both in the Philippines and in the U.S., where he now lives with his spouse, Dion Wong.

Benjamin and Dion met through a personal ad in a local paper. One of Benjamin's long-term private clients initiated the ad because "he was concerned" that Benjamin, who by then was in his 40s, "would grow old alone." What attracted Dion to the ad was that "this person was looking for someone with traditional Asian values." These traditions are very important to Benjamin (58) and Dion (66), and include a wide range of beliefs and expectations.

They describe the importance of maintaining close family ties and the sacrifices you are expected to make to ensure those relationships are sustained. This is one of the things Dion is proud of in his spouse; despite many problems, Benjamin stays connected to his family.

They talk about the comfort in knowing rice and tea will be available at meals without discussion.

They relate their understanding of the Asian culture's historical dependence upon conformity for its survival since "difference" often results in ostracism and ridicule by the community and/or the government. Honoring experience, traditions and wisdom is essential.

They also explain that the expectation of "showing deference" or "saving face" to others is a highly coveted value in Asian communities.

These last two are often in conflict with western values, especially when it comes to gay rights and the fight for marriage equality; Asians prefer to avoid open conflicts. Like many others coming from non-western cultures, Benjamin and Dion have adapted. Dion, who is Chinese, was born and raised in the U.S., so has more experience straddling the two worlds.

The couple travels extensively, including yearly visits to the Philippines and/or China. The worlds they navigate range in extremes. From the U.S. to the Philippines is an adjustment for a variety of reasons, but as a couple, they are free to be.

In China, lesbians and gays are not encouraged to give the appearance of being anything other than friends lest they be subject to arrest and/or blackmail. According to Dion, the LGBT community is largely underground in China, in spite of occasional publicity. Moreover, inordinate family pressure to produce offspring leads many gay Chinese, and Asians in general, to have wives, he added.

Benjamin and Dion's world here in the U.S. is very different. Their homes and gardens (here and in the Philippines) are filled with Benjamin's artistic touches and the couple's menagerie, including five cats, two rabbits and fish. The couple loves spending time together and with friends here and abroad.

Though retired, Dion still teaches English periodically and spends several nights a month organizing activities for the 60 members of a "35+ Group" he coordinates for gay men over the age of 35 at the Gay Asian Pacific Islander Alliance (GAPA) in San Francisco. He is also a volunteer provider of LGBT sensitivity training for senior caregivers at the Openhouse services organization for LGBT elders (read about their project in the January issue) Dion is also a member of the clergy in Eckankar.

Dion and Benjamin's relationship is sustained by a deep love for one another that they say is sheathed by trust and includes physical, mental, psychological and spiritual connectedness.  They were older when they met and fell in love, which means the baggage of prior hurts, betrayals and disappointments required unpacking but, at the same time, provided valuable lessons and examples. Their courtship lasted four years before the relationship was consummated and they were married in Toronto, Canada, and secured domestic partnership in California. 

Dion and Benjamin forged their way as individuals and as a couple without having had positive role models growing up. Fortunately, but because they are true to the whole of who they are, they became positive "role models" for the gay Asian community.  On March 16, 2010, they will celebrate 15 years together; apparently there is something to be said for "gems."

Just as important as our collective visibility is our support of those who are fighting for our rights. That is why we intend to profile 10,000 same gender couples in 2010 and donate the first $10,000 from our earnings to Marriage Equality USA.  Click for more information

By Haute Haiku   Sat, Jan 30, 2010

For every LGBT person in Africa, it has proven to be a very hard task to live in a relationship with a partner of the same gender. Homophobia spreads and is fuelled every day, pushing people back into the closet. Men and women are forced to get into marriages and pretend everything is okay; men become priests and declare celibacy or choose to live dual lives.

Africa has the highest number of countries that criminalize homosexuality. Thirty-eight have harsh penalties, including imprisonment of homosexuals for up to 14 years or, in other cases, for life. Sudan, Nigeria and Somalia impose the death penalty, and now Uganda, too, has a bill pending that would lead to the same.

The Malawian gay couple, Tiwonge Chimbalanga and Steven Monjeza, who recently braved their engagement ceremony which was witnessed by many, could face up to 14 years in prison if found guilty of unnatural practices between males. Medical examinations will be used to prove sexual relationship by showing evidence of penetration; if they were in Uganda, they would have to undergo compulsory HIV testing.

Uganda's Anti-Homosexuality Act of 2009 legislates against the "promoting, aiding and abetting" of homosexuality and is supported firmly by politicians or people with political ambition who urge the general populace to support it as well.

False information has been circulated to the effect that sexual orientation can be changed and treated easily by providing counseling to manage the "unnatural" acts. If the Anti-Homosexuality bill gets revoked, the creators will consider pushing for such "ex-gay therapy," which has proven ineffective and dangerous.

Monetary support for the anti-gay push has come from the evangelical movement in the United States. Their so-called missionaries promote the sales of their books and bring "evidence" that homosexuality is curable. Such missionaries, having strong ties to African politicians, reach the people by claiming their main aim is to protect family values and save the African culture. They give huge amounts of money and the recipients, bishops and church boards, spend the money as they wish. Some of the funds are used for schools, scholarships, and loans and some of the funds also support the preaching of hate against homosexuals.

There is stiff competition between the U.S. mainline churches that support the LGBTs and the American conservatives who bring development by eliminating poverty, illiteracy and HIV/AIDS. Giving more money than the mainline churches, the conservatives face no opposition in their promotion of homophobia because of the influence their money carries.

Seminars have been held in many African countries by the anti-gay movement, telling people that homosexuals want to recruit in Africa and then take over the world. Parents, students, and politicians flock to the conferences, most of which have been held in Eastern Africa - Kenya, Uganda and Rwanda, for example. Such efforts are increasing, bringing homophobia to an astonishing level. Growing numbers of people seem to agree that tough legislation should be drafted to bar homosexuals from recruiting and to enforce stiffer penalties against the practice of homosexuality.

Strong involvement from the general public, churches and some politicians has led to success in promoting homophobic politics, informing the masses that homosexuality is a western phenomenon - a threat to children and society that will wreck civilization and the African culture, proving a Kenyan inside joke to be true: "If you want to get rich really fast, open up a bar or a church or become a member of Parliament."

By   Sat, Jan 30, 2010

Romance And Love

Every year on February 14th that special holiday just for Lovers is celebrated. We are talking of course about Valentines Day.

Starting in January we are bombarded with ads on television, radio and in print about getting the perfect, most romantic gift. But just what is the right gift?

Is it the biggest bouquet of flowers, the largest box of chocolates or the most expensive candlelit dinner? How about a piece of shiny jewelry?

All of these things are okay, they're just not very romantic. Anyone can go to the nearest jeweler or flower shop, whip out the credit card and spend the amount they think is needed to impress their lover.

There are even lists that actually suggest giving gift certificates. It doesn't matter if the certificate is for a spa, jewelry or sexy lingerie, a gift certificate basically says, this is how much you are worth to me.

Don't get me wrong, those things can be part of the Valentines Day experience, they just shouldn't be your entire focus.

To make Valentines Day truly memorable you need to allow your inner romantic to express itself. To do this you need to try a different tact, you need to spend a little more time finding the best ways to express your love to that most significant person in your life.

The Valentines Day Test

Start by considering Valentines Day as a test. Not a test where you sit down and mark answers on a sheet of paper, but rather a test of how well you actually know your Lover.

Prep for your test by truly listening to and observing your Lover. Watch what he or she looks at in stores. Look for the pauses as they find something in the paper or a magazine that catches their eye. Think about your relationship. Is there something that you used to do together when you were first dating that has gradually given way to the daily demands of home and work?

When you plan for Valentines Day consider that the single most precious gift that you can give your lover is a gift of time. Time with you, special time for themselves, be creative.

Also consider the day as a series of gifts, not just one here are the flowers and chocolates, now lets go to dinner. A series of small gifts or surprises that lead to something truly special will make this Valentines Day the most memorable ever.

So here are a few ideas.

• Start the day by giving a single red rose and a short love note when they wake. The note doesn't have to be poetic or perfect prose, it just needs to be sincere.

• If they are the one that always cooks breakfast, you do it. Place a small love coupon next to the plate that gives your lover the gift of your time for whatever they may want.

• Borrow their car and thoroughly clean it inside and out. Don't tell them what you are going to do or what you have done, just do it and allow them to discover it on their own.

• Plan a special activity that includes just the two of you. It doesn't matter if it's rock climbing, swimming at the beach, dancing, hiking or a bike ride. The idea is that it be an activity that you both will enjoy all the more because you are doing it together.

• If there is something that your Valentine has been trying to get you to do or try, now would be a fantastic time to do it, with them. Have they been trying to get you to exercise, go for a walk, take a dance lesson, go to a special movie, go rollerskating or whatever.

The basic idea is that whatever you do doesn't have to be super romantic. The romance will come from the fact that you have truly listened and responded to the one you love.

Then take them out to dinner and dancing, give them the flowers and chocolates and buy them some nice jewelry. After all, they are the love of your life!

Make your loved one smile with satisfaction every time that they think about this Valentines Day.

Bob Current is the author of http://www.thingstodoforvalentinesday.info Check it out for even more ideas.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bob_Current

By Howie Holben   Sun, Jan 31, 2010

Italy is a nation famous for its romance, architecture, history and art and is a popular location for gay travel. The rich history, picturesque landscapes and unique culture have made Italy a popular setting for plays, books and movies and draws couples, families and friends to this beautiful country throughout the year to indulge in the food, admire the fashion and experience a wide variety of world-famous art and architecture. With many diverse gay vacation options, including the winding pathways of Venice, the countryside dotted with sightseeing opportunities, ancient ruins and wineries, the vast museums of Florence and the thrilling nightlife of Milan, Italy is an ideal setting for gay vacations.

While Rome and Milan have the widest selection of gay bars and clubs, gay travel participants will find that Geneva, Florence, Bologna, Venice, Padua and many other tourist hotspots also have gay-owned and gay-friendly establishments offering a welcoming atmosphere for a night on the town during your gay vacation to Italy. Gay-owned and gay-friendly hotels can be found throughout Italy, such as the Hotel Porta Rossa - which is the second oldest hotel in Italy and just a short walk from numerous world-famous attractions, such as Michelangelo's David in the Galleria dell'Accademia - or the gay-owned La Quircia Rosa and Villa le Masse in Tuscany.

Italy's larger cities have established gay and lesbian communities, providing many options for your Italian gay vacation. Milan is often thought of as the most accepting city in Italy, with Florence, Rome and Bologna also topping this list with larger gay and lesbian populations, which make each of these popular choices for gay vacations. There are gay pride celebrations in many cities and three lesbian and gay film festivals, including Milan's Festival del Cinema Gay Lesbico e della Cultura Queer, the Turin International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival and the Florence Queer Festival.

If one of the goals of your gay vacation to Italy is to experience as much of the history, art and culture as possible during your stay, tours are an absolute necessity. Participating in organized gay vacations or working with a travel agency to schedule tours for your private travel group will help you make the most out of your time in Italy. Whether you go to Italy for the food, the art, the wine, the history or the legends, there is bound to be a tour related to your interests and this really is the best way to take in all that Italy has to offer. Another tip for utilizing your time in Italy well is to book museum reservations ahead of time whenever possible. Italy is well-known for its remarkable museums and this will save you from standing in some very long lines.

By   Tue, Jan 26, 2010

By Poonam Taneja  BBC Asian Network

A UK charity is dealing with an increasing number of young gay Muslims becoming homeless after fleeing forced marriages and so-called honour violence.

During a weekly drop-in group held by the Albert Kennedy Trust in London, Suni, a 20-year-old London student, helps himself to a warm mince pie and a steaming cup of coffee.

In 2008, during a holiday to Pakistan to visit relatives, his parents suspected the truth about his sexuality. They believed marriage would "cure" him of what they considered to be a psychological disorder.

Name 'blackened'

"They told me I'm going to be forced into marriage and they're looking for a girl and I'll be married in two to three months and I won't be able to come back to London," Suni said.

When he refused, he was imprisoned in his family's ancestral home in a remote village of Pakistan and subjected to regular beatings and abuse as he had brought "shame" on the strict Muslim family.

I think I'd be vulnerable if people knew about me - I've heard a lot of remarks in the past about people saying that gay people should die for religious reasons Ali, East London

"I stayed there for three months and he was always beating me. He was telling me I had blackened our family name and he was saying it's a sin. I know it was just for honour."

Suni managed to escape and return to the UK, penniless and homeless.

Relatives and friends were reluctant to help him due to fear of violent reprisals from his family.

After a night spent in a police cell, he was put in touch with the trust, which helped find him safe accommodation.

Read the rest at BBC News

By Heidi Mann   Fri, Jan 29, 2010

"Every civil rights movement needs leaders to create change, and the LGBT movement is no exception." So begins the January 2010 episode of "In the Life: Documentary Stories from the Gay Experience."

According to its website (www.inthelifetv.org), "In The Life Media produces media that produces change for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender communities." Though it got off to a rocky start in 1992 with some TV stations refusing to air it due to public protest, "In the Life" now airs on over 240 public-television stations, "[delivering] provocative and diverse documentary stories about the LGBT experience to a national...audience." It showed up on my radar screen early this year via an email from a local chapter of Lutherans Concerned / North America.

As an ordained pastor of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (though not presently leading a parish), I was especially drawn to the first of the three segments of this month's hour-long program, featuring Emily Eastwood, Executive Director of Lutherans Concerned, as she recounts her journey in and out of the closet, as well as in and out of, and then back into, the Lutheran Church.

Between 2001 and 2009, the ELCA engaged in a study process concerning the denomination's response to homosexuals, particularly those who feel called both to a committed same-gender relationship and to professional ministry in the Church. Eastwood has been a prominent leader pushing the Church toward full inclusion.

In August 2009, at the ELCA's biennial assembly, a recommendation was brought forth to lift the ban against homosexuals in committed relationships serving as clergy. On August 21, the 1000+ delegates (40 percent clergy, 60 percent laity) passed the measure, 559-451. With approximately 4.5 million members, the ELCA is the largest Christian denomination in American to adopt such a policy.

Not detailed in "In the Life" is the wide-ranging reaction across the Church - from great joy and relief (such as Eastwood and others exhibit in the program) to deep sorrow and anger, and everything in between. While some members (including this writer) welcome the change and rejoice at a new breadth of inclusivity they believe was modeled by Jesus himself, others strongly oppose the action, convinced the Bible teaches that homosexuality is a sin and that, though we are all sinners and accept one another as such, clergy should live by a higher "moral standard." Some congregations and individuals are so upset by the decision that they have opted to leave the ELCA or cease funding it at the national level. 

Personally, I believe full inclusion of homosexuals in the life and leadership of the Christian Church is indeed supported by Scripture when consideration is paid to the differences between biblical and modern culture(s). I also believe connecting faces with an otherwise abstract issue makes people better able to empathize with and understand life experiences with which they are not familiar. Having known for years of the heart-wrenching struggles of gay and lesbian friends and relatives in matters of sexuality, faith, and how the two fit together, I find it impossible to believe that a God of immeasurable love - which is what Christians proclaim - would abandon anyone to a life of loneliness who yearns to share life with a partner. Nor can I believe that God would reject anyone genuinely longing to serve in the Church. After all, consistently in the Bible, God chooses leaders not from the crème de la crème of society, but from those considered "riffraff" and "ne'er-do-well," - even murderers, adulterers, idolaters - and those whom religious leaders (which is not to say God) declared "sinners" and pushed to the margins of society just as homosexuals are labeled and ostracized today.

What I appreciate about "In the Life" is how real-life stories are harnessed to transform an issue from two-dimensional and polarizing to three-dimensional and multifaceted. Although I came to the program already free of prejudice (to the best of my own estimation), I can't imagine anyone - even someone very conservative - watching several episodes without being moved by the hurt, heartache, sorrow, and struggle experienced by gay people and their supporters.

Besides Easton and the struggle in the ELCA, the January episode features a Baptist minister Dr. C. Welton Gaddy, who believes same-sex marriage is guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution; a fairly new organization called Broadway Impact, advocating for marriage equality in New York State; and Massachusetts' 4th Congressional District Representative Barney Frank speaking about coming out of the closet while serving in a public role. All three segments are informative and insightful.

The January episode and many prior ones can be viewed in whole or in segments at ITLM's archives at www.inthelifetv.org. Local TV schedules and the current episode are also offered on the website.

The February 2010 episode includes "Kathleen Turner and Edward Albee talking theater; Julian Bond and Jonathan Capehart discussing gay rights as civil rights; and Julianne Moore and Christine Vachon taking on Hollywood" (quoted from ITLM's video promo on YouTube).

By   Mon, Jan 18, 2010

As we celebrate MLK Day 2010, we no longer have to hold King up to a God-like standard. All the hagiographies written about King immediately following his assassination in the previous century have come under scrutiny as we come to understand all of King - his greatness as well as his flaws and human foibles.

In combing through numerous books and essays and learning more about King's philandering, sexist attitude about women at home and in the movement, and relationship with Bayard Rustin, I wonder if King be a public advocate for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer rights?

James Cone, father of Black Liberation Theology and author of a book and several articles on King, argues that we must understand King within the historical context of the Black Church. In so doing, I find it ironic that the public King we witnessed on a national stage talked vociferously about social justice and civil rights for all people, yet in his personal life he did not reflect the same ethos concerning women and gays. Would the public King have spoken out on LGBTQ justice, risking his already waning popularity with the African American community and President Lyndon Johnson?

Read More

By Barb Elgin, LCSW   Wed, Feb 10, 2010

Are there secrets to finding your soul mate?

How do you handle Valentine's Day when you and your partner aren't getting along?

Yesterday Barb Elgin, aka Coach Sappho, joined Steve Sorensen and Greg Giesen on Castle Rock Radio, based in Colorado. The name of their show is 'Leading From Within' that focuses on inspiration and live strategies to help make you all you can be!  Give a listen. Its free.

Click here to pick up your free mp3 copy of the interview now.

By   Mon, Jan 18, 2010

New America Media, Q&A, interview by Carolyn Ji Jong Goossen, Posted: Nov 07, 2009  

Editor's Note: In 1993, then-Pres. Bill Clinton enacted the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy, which officially permits gays and lesbians to serve in the military as long as they are not open about their sexuality. Now, Pres. Barack Obama has vowed to end that policy and remove any barriers to gays serving in the military. Many gay advocates have criticized 'don't ask, don't tell' as perpetuating discrimination, but for Catherine A.,(not her real name), an officer and 13-year member of the U.S military, the policy has made sense for gays and lesbians, like her, who put their military identity above any other. NAM editor Carolyn Ji Jong Goossen spoke with Catherine, 36, about why she believes 'don't ask, don't tell' actually helps protect gay and lesbian officers in the military. Her name has been changed at her request.


Did you know you were a lesbian when you started serving in the military?

Yes. But I've never been very vocal about my sexuality because I don't think it should be my master status. In the civilian sector, I've seen people removed from their jobs and harassed by colleagues at work because of their sexuality.

When you put the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy in its context, and you look at who makes up the Department of Defense, it's a progressive policy. We're not going to compare it to the GAP corporation, which is a private company, because this is an organization [funded by] taxpayers, and this is a very political issue. [There are many] benefits that are associated with being in the military that you want to afford to people, and you want to protect people from biased people, so they implemented 'don't ask, don't tell'.

Are you out to anyone in the military?

I am just out to people who are gay in the organization. We are part of the leadership group. They are all really talented people, and they know how to navigate their identities. They know when to say it, and they know when not to say it.

You have served in the military for the past 13 years. What has been your experience with the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy?

At one point in my career, I was a legal officer, and one piece of that billet was the investigation of people under the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy. We would conduct investigations, and if it came to light that someone came out to one of their peers or had questionable behavior, they would tell a senior enlisted, and that person, who is like a troop overseer, they would order an investigation. If based on the statements it was found that the person came out as gay, we'd have a discussion with that person, and if everyone agreed that this organization wasn't the best place for them because of this policy, then we would suggest that they finish out their term and then get discharged under honorable conditions. It would say they had gotten out early, but it wouldn't say why.

Or if it was a flagrant display, like someone bringing back people he picked up, then we would pursue separation because that would endanger the marine who might be gay, and it would make everyone feel uncomfortable.

I've had young people in front of me [who had come out] who say they want to do all these great things you can do in the military services, like traveling and going to language school, but I would encourage them to go other places. Because I personally felt that they were endangered on some level by other soldiers. If they got beaten up, then a whole slew of things would happen, and we'd be discharging people because of violence.

This one kid was a stellar service member on every account, but when they tell you [they are gay], you have to do something. It's not the best position to be in. You have to either enact the policy, or you ignore it.

Did you ever feel torn when you conducted the investigations?

No, because the investigations revealed the circumstance of the event. It's not like service people don't know the policy. When you are part of the identity of the military, you have to buy into it. It's unfortunate, but I know so many people who put identities aside for the military. Putting identities aside is part of committing to the military. Certainly, if you pooled all the leadership, you would see there is a disproportionate amount of white folks in the officer core. If you are African American or Latina, or Filipino, you carry a certain identity with you. But if you are in this organization, you are a uniformed member first, and your tertiary identity is your language and culture.

It's like you have to talk like a white person to get ahead in America. People bury identities all the time. Frankly, it's nobody's business who you are sleeping with. But if it's getting in the way of the mission...it's inappropriate.

If someone suspects a service member to be gay, but they have not acted improperly and have not come out to anyone, can they still be discharged?

This doesn't happen. The commander can say to the investigator, "this is not worth your time, this person has amazing recommendations." I've never seen anyone pursued on suspicion. The investigations are based on peoples' actions in the unit. The behavior was so out there that you would say, "what"?

You actually have to raise your hand, or show some behavior that can be proven, and that's what puts the separation vehicle in motion. If you happen to be effeminate, that's not grounds for [being] removed.

What impact do you think this policy has had on gay and lesbian military service people?

The policy is helpful [when you] consider many things. First, military service members live in such close quarters, so regardless of whether you are a promiscuous individual, or you are sleeping with the same sex, all of these things make people feel uncomfortable.

And there is such a small percentage of queer people in the world, and there are so few people who have been exposed to it, that I don't want people to be picked on because of their sexual preference. I'd much rather they be judged on their competency, and their ability for growth, and how well they do the job they've been trained to do.

So what the Department of Defense has done is made a reciprocal contract with an individual that says, 'don't tell us you are gay and we'll only judge you on the items on the evaluation piece.' And I think that's a fair approach.

What do you think the effects of repealing 'don't ask, don't tell' would be?

Even if you repealed 'don't ask, don't tell', you would still be hard pressed to find people who would bring their same-sex partner to the holiday party.

I think the effects, like any policy that gets changed, is that initially, there will be a small homophobic backlash. And then it would ease. Investigations into violence against gays and lesbians in the military would go up.

Personally, I'd like it to be repealed, because I want the human condition to move forward, on a theoretical level. But when it plays out in front of you, it plays out much differently. I know people are discriminated against whether we are talking about military public service or public sector. It's a good policy in that it protects an individual, and you can't verify either way whether a person is queer or not. The policy is really about [when] an individual is coming forward and saying, "I'm queer".

Have you ever felt targeted or harmed by the policy?

No, I've never been hurt by the policy. It's the people who don't know how to navigate those conversations who get themselves earmarked. It's a matter of experience and exposure.

Given the level of sexual violence against women, both gay and straight, in the military, doesn't the policy really make gays bear the onus of not attracting violence?

The individual who commits the violence would certainly be punished. And that's consistent.

If there are strong consequences for the perpetrator of homophobic violence, wouldn't that eliminate the need for 'don't ask, don't tell'?

That same argument can be applied to the civilian world. If there are severe consequences, shouldn't that be a deterrent for any crime of violence? There are still people in jail for violent acts. There is no way to police that.

Do you think asking gay people to stay closeted is like telling someone who is Jewish to not appear overtly Jewish in case it provoked anti-Semitic reactions?

I don't think that's a fair question. There are Jewish holidays, but there are not national coming out holidays. Being gay is cross-cutting. It's not like being Jewish or being a person of color. I honestly think a white person in a same-sex relationship has a lot more leverage than an African-American person from Oakland. Because you know how to navigate. You have capital. Race is big, you see it immediately.

A lot of the military's top brass are starting to say the time for 'don't ask, don't tell' is drawing to a close.

I think that's totally accurate. It's a foregone conclusion at this point, yet it's still around. The dominos are tipping. Obama said federal employers will be able to extend their benefits to same-sex partners and the Department of Defense is nestled within this, so it will tip like everything else did.

When it happens, I will commend the Department of Defense for doing it, because it will be the largest organization to do so, and there are plenty of people in the military who wouldn't want to see it go, and plenty people in the country who wouldn't want to see it happen. At the end of the day it's a social institution that will engineer itself towards progress.

By   Fri, Feb 05, 2010

By   Sat, Jan 23, 2010

[Editor's Note: This came in during the December shuffle and somehow got lost. My sincere apologies. We love you too!!]

My wife Rachel and I are a straight couple from Brooklyn, NY. I have been fighting for all civil rights, but especially the rights of gays for almost ten years. After watching with disappointment what happened in Maine, and with legislation pending and possibly failing in our home state of New York, Rachel and I decided to take a stand. As loud a stand as we could think. So we're vowing to have our marriage annulled as unconstitutionally discriminate according to the NYS Constitution and will fight in court to do so, should our State Senate vote against same-sex marriage (a vote that may come up as soon as today, 12/2/2009).

We started a facebook group a couple of weeks ago and have already gotten 260 members, from all over the country, of all ages, gay and straight, married and single, to show their support for our cause! I found your site through a Facebook ad and felt compelled to share our fight with you. Please, click on our link below and check out our Facebook Group and join us to show your support! We can't do it alone, and every member speaks volumes!

Remember that you'll always have our support and the support of millions more out there! We won't give up, and we won't stop fighting!

By   Mon, Jan 18, 2010

One of the easiest and most affordable ways to highlight and enhance a bedroom is with beautiful comforter sets. When you are looking for the perfect sets, there are a few steps you can take that will make your selection easier and will give you years of service and beauty.

The sets that are made today are more technologically advanced that those found several years ago. In the past, it was difficult to maintain and care for a comforter which made them less than ideal for a room where the bed was used as a social center. However, this has been addressed by manufacturers.

Today the comforter slides into an easy to clean duvet and has snaps at the bottom to keep the comforter securely in place. If the comforter is being used in a child's room, it is easy to remove the comforter from the duvet and pop it in the washer.

The sets are designed in many colors and designs using a 205 - 305 thread count. The thread count of the fabric is what makes it feel soft and comfortable on the bed. The bright colors used for some of the comforters is made using a reactive dying technology that withstands fading and wear.

Many people use their comforter sets to create a focal point in a room. When there are a lot of neutral tones used throughout a bedroom, the comforter set can bring the room to life. There are now sets made in a multitude of colors and designs so it is easy to find the exact style and design that will fit the room where it will be used.

One of the great features of newer comforters is that the duvet can be used without the comforter inserted. If you live in an area where it gets very warm in the summer, the ability to keep your design without removing the duvet gives you more flexibility in your design.

There are different ratings for comforter sets and when you are selecting the set that is right for you it will be important to get the level of warmth that you require. The warmth rating is based on the amount and type of batting that is used in the comforter. When you are looking at comforters that use a stuffing such as goose down, it will be important to make sure you are not allergic to the feathers.

Michael Russell is a well known expert writer on duvet sets in styles as well as in colors for all. He is also writing on various comforter sets on a website with which he has been associated for a couple of years now. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Mize_Russell

By   Sun, Jan 17, 2010

How long a foreclosure takes to complete and the process it follows depends on whether it's a Judicial or Non-Judicial foreclosure. And which type you have is determined by the state you live in and the mortgage documents you signed.

Judicial Foreclosure

All 50 states allow lenders to foreclose through the court system. It's the only option for lenders in nearly half the states, however. From the homeowner's point of view, a Judicial Foreclosure can be somewhat intimidating or scary because you may have to make appearances before the court handling your case. This can work in your favor, however, because the court will probably be more sympathetic to you than the lender. The court will never throw your case out simply because they like you, but having a third party involved will help make sure the lender doesn't take advantage of you. Judicial foreclosures typically take longer than Non-Judicial foreclosures. They can range from 6 months to 2 years and, in most cases, you can stay in your home throughout the process. You can also contest the foreclosure if you believe it's unfounded or the lender did not provide proper notification or follow state or federal laws. If you believe this is the case, contact an attorney in your area that specializes in foreclosure law and discuss your situation before going to court.

Non-Judicial Foreclosure

Non-Judicial foreclosures typically move much faster than Judicial ones because the courts aren't involved. They can move as fast as 1 month to 1 year from notice of default to the foreclosure sale. Once you're sent a notice of default, the only way to delay or stop the process is to file a legal suit and seek an injunction against your lender's action or to file bankruptcy. As in a Judicial foreclosure, you can usually stay in your home throughout a Non-Judicial foreclosure.

Important! Regardless of the type of foreclosure procedure your lender uses, they have a lot of leeway in when they actually decide to begin the foreclosure process. Just because you're in default does not mean you're in foreclosure. You enter default simply by failing to make payments. Once you're in default, it's completely up to your lender (or servicer) whether they begin the foreclosure process for you or not. This is why you must be proactive and use the KEEP Survival Formula.

Note: Connecticut and Vermont permit what is known as a strict foreclosure. This is a type of Judicial foreclosure, but it transfers the title of your home to the bank without a sale. If you live in one of these states and have equity in your home, it's even more critical you take control of the process and begin negotiating with your lender.

Going through foreclosure is tough and finding trustworthy information is even tougher. Truth in Foreclosure puts out news you can use every day in your foreclosure fight.

Get your FREE sample hardship letter now!

FREE Video Reveals the #1 Secret to Writing a Laser-Focused, Goal Getting Hardship Letter That Will Put You in the Best Possible Position to Negotiate with Your Lender... http://www.hardshipletterexpert.com

Todd Temaat is an author and foreclosure expert who runs the Truth in Foreclosure web site.

In 2007, he started a for-profit foreclosure counseling and negotiation service to help homeowners escape foreclosure. After thousands of phone calls and hundreds of hours on the phone with homeowners and lenders, he decided he could accomplish more by simply showing homeowners how they can save their own homes rather than trying to do it for them.

In 2008, he and his team switched from negotiating on behalf of clients to producing information that guides homeowners and brings hope to hopeless situations. They do this primarily through their web site, but also offer free and paid information products including include proven sample hardship letters, recorded conference calls with industry experts, and step-by-step lessons and courses that prove expert advice gets expert results.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Todd_Temaat

By   Mon, Jan 18, 2010

By Nancy Larson

1. Realize the weight of this decision. You're taking on not just one life, but several. Your life will never be the same: there will be times when the needs of the children will take priority over those of the couple, and many times over your own needs!

2. Be honest with the children about your relationship-the earlier the better. No matter how young, they can understand that Dad and Tom love each other and have chosen to spend their lives together. Secrecy is the worst decision: the children WILL find out and will feel betrayed if the news comes from Jason's mom's aunt.

3. Get to know the children over time. This is new for them, too. Are they used to a single parent or have they been through a divorce? They may hold back for months or even years-especially if they are teenagers.

4. Pave their way at school, especially if this is the first time their mom or dad has had a partner. Make sure school officials know that this child is in a gay-led family and ask them to alert you to any teasing.

5. Seek others in similar situations. Find out how they handle their blended family with the additional ingredient of homophobia in the schools, sports and other extracurricular activities.

6. Find a gay-friendly family therapist (most cities have a GLBT "Yellow Pages"). This is not optional. Statistics show marriages involving blended families result in a higher divorce rate than first marriages. Gay and lesbian couples are no exception.

7. Hold once-a-week family meetings. Everyone should have a voice-then parents make the final decisions.

Nancy Larson is a freelance writer of 18 years. Her work appears in dozens of print and online publications including Time, Inc.'s Health Magazine, The Weather Channel's Forecast Earth site at climate.weather.com, and About.com.

By   Mon, Jan 18, 2010

Healthy Eating Dieting is vital to a successful weight loss plan. By eating healthy you will have far more energy and be more likely to stick to your diet plan. Here are some important points on healthy eating dieting:

At the heart of almost all diet plans is the reduction of calories in one way or another. While this is certainly needed to lose weight, often this reduction of calories leads to unhealthy eating habits.

This can leave our bodies lacking many of the vitamins and minerals essential to maintain good health and proper function of the body. If your looking to lose weight by cutting calories, it's important that you replace all those lost nutrients each day.

A multi-vitamin tablet will most likely meet your daily needs for the essential minerals and vitamins (the ones that your body needs to function).

When it comes to choosing a supplementation, liquid pills are the choice. Research has shown that liquid versions of multi-vitamins are absorbed more easily into the body and allow for better overall health.

Be sure to always drink a lot of water. First of it will keep your body hydrated (vital for good health during dieting), and it will keep you full and suppress your appetite. People will often be surprised how much weight they can lose by simple drinking more water.

Green tea extract is an excellent supplement that should be considered to lose weight. It raises your metabolism so you burn more fat. Be aware that it does NOT contribute greatly to weight loss but it does help!

An often overlooked supplements for weight loss is fiber. Fiber will keep you full and drastically help your weight loss while helping to maintain a healthy body function.

Back to the water issue. It is also very important to drink lots and lots of water when taking fiber to stay healthy! Fiber is forms bulk and blocks you large intestine (in a good way), so it needs a lot of water to work properly.

Healthy Eating is an all around fundamental key to weight loss. Permanent weight loss is achieved by adding certain key nutrients to your diet to allow you to feel satisfied with less food that will prevent overeating. If your looking for a healthy weight loss solution, I would recommend The Weight Loss Grail.

This is a brand new type of diet that uses healthy eating to never leave you feeling hungry, and you don't have to give up your favorite foods. At least not all the time. Cheating is an important part of this diet as it raises your metabolism and gets your body out of "survival mode".

If you cut your calories all at once your body will think its starving and lower its metabolism. Cheating every once in a while makes sure this DOESN'T happen!

Weight Loss Grail is a fantastic new accelerated weight loss plan that promotes healthy eating, while still losing up to 10 pounds a week. Here is a helpful review of the diet. Check out the review and see if it's a good fit!

Review

Good Luck!

Article by Matthew Corsi, a nutrition specialist who has reviewed hundreds of diet plans focusing on losing weight while still eating healthy.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Matt_Corsi

By Ann Keeler Evans   Wed, Jan 13, 2010

Given that you might not be able to be married legally, why would you bother with a wedding ceremony? Although even the shallowest of ceremonies do a remarkable amount to change the tenor of the relationship, a carefully crafted wedding ceremony can do so much more:

• I have found when working with over 20 years of clients, that wedding ceremonies, which reflect the truth of who you are and how you love one another, radically increase your chances for a happy and healthy life-long relationship. These days marriage of any kind is a tricky proposition. The stats are not reassuring. The statistics on gay marriage are even worse. What you say to one another matters. Couples who make realistic wedding vows at their wedding ceremony wildly increase their odds for lifelong marriage. Give yourself a boost and create a ceremony that clarifies your values and your intention to live forever in loving marriage.
• Offering a wedding vow to your beloved, one that is unique and faithful to the deepest tenets of your relationship, makes it easier to know exactly what you will be working on over time. If you know where you are going, chances are much greater that you will get there!
• An effective wedding ceremony leads the couple from unmarried to married, in a way which changes their understanding of their relationship in the deepest recesses of their hearts and their community can understand in the same way.
• A responsible wedding ceremony asks the community to understand that marriage is difficult and that the community has the responsibility to support the couple. This is even more important to a relationship that, in all probability, will encounter at least some prejudice. Gay marriage is harder than straight marriage because too many in the world think it isn't ok. But the good news is, even back in the bad old days, I have never done a same-sex wedding ceremony where even the most hidebound friends and family members have not gotten it: Oh, they love each other. Then of course they should have had a wedding ceremony.
• The wedding ceremony allows the couples to say out loud, in their own voice, that lifelong marriage matters to them and that they will live into it. The ticket to lasting marriages is promises said out loud.
• If you let them, your wedding vows can be the center of your life, sustaining you through the hard times and giving you a sweet place to celebrate the triumphs. Your wedding ceremony can be the catalyst and the touchstone for placing your vows at the heart of your marriage. Your love deserves nothing less than a lifetime of expression.
• Well crafted, the wedding ceremony helps the couple make wedding vows that are attainable, if the couple is willing to do the work to keep love at the center of their lives.

Now why would you not want to claim these advantages for your precious relationship? Because it really deserves it. The two of you really deserve it!

Bonus Tip: To create a wedding that truly reflects who you are, visit my website at where you'll lots of exciting ways to create the wedding ceremony of your dreams and the marriage of a lifetime. And now I'd like to invite you to sign up to receive 2 free templates for creating the wedding vows to sustain a marriage that lasts forever: http://annkeelerevans.org/weddings/free

By   Mon, Jan 18, 2010

Now that more and more states and countries are achieving marriage equality, larger numbers of us have the joy of getting married to our partners. Gay wedding planning, though, can be a minefield, as most of us have never dealt with the wedding industry before. Tales are abound of blown budgets, undersized venues, ruined flower arrangements, and overstressed brides or grooms losing it on their wedding day. The purpose of this article is to help you avoid these pitfalls.

The very first step to planning your dream gay wedding is ignored by all too many couples, same-sex and opposite sex: make a detailed budget! You wouldn't buy a car without carefully considering your budget first, would you? Yet, the average wedding costs the same as the average car, and many couples blindly enter the planning process without having a clear picture of what resources are available to them. When you start making your budget, think about how much you (or whoever will help pay) has to spend, then carefully consider your priorities. Do you want to have a huge wedding with all of your friends? Or is it more important to have a fabulous sit-down meal? Once you've got your priorities in order, it's time to work on the guest list.

The guest list is actually the "co-first-step" in wedding planning. Literally everything else depends on your guest list, starting with the size of the ceremony and reception venues, leading up to how much you'll have to spend on each individual element of your wedding - invitations, food, beverages, etc. If you start planning for that cute cottage in the Vermont countryside, then find out that you can't do with fewer than 100 guests, you'll have to start everything over from scratch. Or, you might discover that your dream wedding cake completely blows the budget when it's upsized for 200 people. This could lead to imprudent attempts to save money.

One disastrous I've seen some couples try to save money is by trying to get their friends to play professionals. Yes, Sara might make beautiful flower arrangements at home, but is she up to the task of creating 20 arrangements in a few hours? Will Tim's skills as a hobby architectural photographer translate into gorgeous wedding pictures? Do you want to risk ruining an aspect of your wedding - or, even worse - a valued friendship? Work with professionals; it will save you a great deal of stress.

Another stress-busting factor that many couples forget about is a master of ceremonies. Trust me: you do NOT want to be in charge of everything on your wedding day. Choose someone who is calm under pressure, understands your vision for the wedding day, and shares your taste. Otherwise, you'll be running on your last nerves, finding your mother-in-law giving the OK to tacky decorations you hate, while the DJ cues up The Funky Chicken.

There you have it: some of the most common mistakes that couples make when doing gay wedding planning. Making a budget, clarifying the guest list, working with professionals, and choosing a master of ceremonies might seem obvious, but you'd be amazed at how many people forget to do so.

Planning a gay wedding requires a lot of time and effort, and can end up costing a fortune! Check out this blog to get tips on hiring the perfect wedding planner, or even how to save a bundle on your wedding cake!

Jeremy grew up in Arkansas, but has lived in Europe for many years now. Jeremy also recently planned his own wedding, and has collected a great deal of tips for having a fabulous wedding - without breaking the bank, of course!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeremy_Riegler

By   Tue, Jan 19, 2010

A wedding anniversary is the occasion to celebrate the love that once brought the husband and the wife together. It is a time to rekindle all the feelings that you have for each other but do not have time to express. This is the occasion to make your spouse feel special again and tell him or her that your love has not reduced with time. One way in which you can do this is by giving gifts to each other. It is a time tested method of expressing your emotions.

It is very easy to find a gift for one's husband and wife as one is well aware of their preferences. But one has to decide before buying a gift whether they want to go for a modern gift or a traditional gift. The traditional gift depends on how many years you have completed of your wedding. For the first wedding anniversary the traditional gift is paper, which is not really an amazing gift unless there is something really special about it. So it would be a better idea to go in for the modern gifts.

Wedding anniversary gifts are available in various stores. You can also get these online under the heading of anniversary gifts. But the main concern is selecting the right gift for the person you love the most in your life. Everybody wants to make this occasion as memorable as possible for their spouse in a nice way.

One of the best and personal wedding anniversary gifts is the anniversary scrapbook that you can make yourself at home. You can write down the special moments that you have shared together and stick pictures of you two. You can also paste your wedding invitation in it. You can write down personal messages elaborating upon what you feel for your spouse and how important he or she is in your life.

The other very nice gift would be a surprise candle lit dinner for just you two, where you can share all the old incidents of your life and just spend a romantic evening together. Champagne bottles or a bottle of your spouse's favorite wine would be an added treat with the dinner.

Some other innovative items would be personalized doorplates, wedding portrait platters, or a tree seeded on your wedding day or anything as old as your wedding.

You can also gift a collection of things that your spouse might be contemplating to buy. You can put all these gifts in an elegant basket to make the gift look more attractive.

The other option is giving a customized gift. You can buy things like t shirts or bags and get them imprinted with your photographs and personal messages.

Gifts are the best way of expressing one's feelings but what matters the most is your true love for your spouse and the best wishes. If these two things are there, your spouse would not ask for anything else. But yes the gifts then would be an icing on the cake.

For any help on wedding gifts, check out the info available online; these will help you learn to find the personalised gifts.

Jo Varley is the founder and Chief Executive Officer of Ice London, the elegant gift brand that includes elegant personalised executive gifts such as luxurious leather, silver plated and Swarovski crystal decorated items, the collection is available through retail stores, corporate gift distributors and online.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jo_Varley

By   Mon, Jan 18, 2010

Recently, Portugal became the latest country to allow gays and lesbians to marry legally. While this announcement is marked as a victory for the GLBT population (despite the measure that same-sex couples cannot adopt in that country), it may leave lesbian couples in the United States wondering how this will affect them? True, there are several states in the Union that either allow marriage or recognize same-sex unions, but with a small percentage of countries on board there is still a long road to walk before recognition is truly global.

What does the legality of the "non-traditional" marriage mean for gay women? If you have planned a vacation in Europe, you will find your sisters in Spain and Scandanavia, for example, may enjoy various benefits equal to those in a heterosexual marriage. If you have married your life partner in any U.S. that allows and/or recognizes civil unions, and are contemplating a move abroad, you will want to check to see what that government has to say about your marriage. If the research you need is not available online, consult with a professional who can assist with any issues that arise regarding your transfer.

As more states and foreign countries grant lesbians the right to marry, obtain health benefits for their partners, and adopt children, gay men and women may find more comfort in being themselves at home and elsewhere. While personal prejudices will never completely disappear (particularly for same-sex couples, interracial couples, and anybody deemed "different"), knowing the law is on your side should inspire you to better appreciate who you are, and the woman you love.

Nenah Drewry writes about lesbian and bisexual issues, including lesbian online dating and bisexual online dating.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nenah_Drewry

By   Mon, Jan 18, 2010

I have a feeling that you're one of the most loving and giving guys someone could ever meet. You have so much to offer a relationship, but on the other hand you're having trouble grasping love; not just grasping it, but EMBRACING it. Perhaps, being a single gay man comes with a lot of stress and anxiety. You might worry that you will never meet someone and that being alone is the most painful feeling ever. My Spidey senses are telling me, that you want more when it comes to love. You're just longing to fall in love, care for your man, express your deep affection, and build a terrific life together. However, your integrity around dating might be a little shaky.

So, what gives?

Speaking of Spidey senses, I want to share a little life experience with you and maybe you can relate or maybe you can't, but if you open up your heart, you will notice the lesson in it. Along with coaching single gay men (and now coupled), I also volunteer working with little kids a few times a week and I keenly notice how they problem solve. It's actually very fascinating.

Without too many mind-filters, they stay with the challenge until the challenge is solved and usually with joy and determination. If they're REALLY struggling with a conflict, they seem to move on from it with lightening speed and then forget it ever happened. Point is, they don't judge it and they never give up.

They are geniuses, mini-brilliant problem solvers and perhaps, somewhere along the line, you've lost touch with that part of yourself - your little inner genius and simply gave up trying to attain that amazing love life. You see, your dating integrity is what's going to help you stick by your values and requirements. It's the very thread that supports how confident and grounded you are.

When the Connection Has a Glitch!

One client, who has been partnered for five years, decided to go the route of "open" relationship - his justification? Sex drive lessens the longer you stay together and they want that consistent sex. Not only that, they have a set of strict rules they follow when they each meet someone they're having sex with. The rules are put in place, so it doesn't go deeper than just sex.

This sounds complicated PLUS adding more opportunities for unnecessary conflict, when the couple at hand can solve the sex dilemma themselves. Make sense? Also, I wont really say it here, but they are suffering in love big time with some of their life style choices. The truth is, sexual energy with your partner will change, because the relationship changes and undergoes many stages of growth. Actually, your sexual relationship with your partner can evolve if you know what to do.

He was actually relieved when we spoke about this, because deep down inside, he really didn't want an open relationship and thought their was no other alternative. Today, with my help, they are exploring different ways to spice up their love life while keeping the integrity of their relationship strong.

Get The Love Ball Rolling.

Speaking of INTEGRITY, 2010 is fast approaching. What are you willing do differently in your life TODAY to change the outcomes of your dating and love efforts? I mean something HUGE, that never seems to gets past the thought process. Which means you think about it, but never put it into action.

Maybe you want to get out in the dating world more and go on fearless dates. That means being present and open to what ever possibilities might show up for you. Also, it might mean exploring different ways to meet men, like, getting involved with local gay organizations, volunteering or simply striking up a conversation with someone who catches your eye.

If You Take Small Bites You Wont Get as Full

No matter how you slice it, Make 2010 the year you changed things in your life that needed change - like Dating Integrity. Some of my single clients are taking their "bull" by the horns and making some huge leaps in what they want to do differently for 2010. I mean, HUGE! One client is leaving his J-O-B to go into web design business for himself. He wants to step up his dating integrity by making one of his dreams come true by not working for someone else. ever again.

In a last session, a client discovered why he was settling in love and decided that he wasn't going to hide anymore behind his limiting beliefs about being gay, and is putting himself out there in ways, that would usually paralyze him. It all had to do with a decision he forgot he made when he was a kid. A decision that stemmed from a tragic moment in his young life.

He's doing INCREDIBLE things now!

Need help clarifying what it is YOU want to attract next year? Your love life, for starters, might need some major attention and the only way you'll make huge leaps is to pay attention to the areas of your life that aren't working anymore. For more information about the course that is changing the lives of many a single gay guy, go here Bootcamps. Next Bootcamp Starts January 23rd and just for signing up I will give you a complimentary Dating Integrity Session.

Remember, dating integrity starts with YOU!

Greg Halpen is founder and owner of the Relationship Ready Program. The proven step by step approach that teaches you how to date smarter, break painful cycles, become irresistibly relationship attractive and fall in love with the TRUE Mr. Wonderful; Yourself... all starting from the inside out. Speaker, mentor & expert dating coach for single gay men. He takes a "heart-based" approach to teaching gay men how to build unstoppable confidence, self-esteem so they can approach and start meaningful and genuine conversations with more guys and go on more dates.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Greg_Halpen

By   Mon, Jan 18, 2010

Drug Addiction, Alcoholism and Dual Diagnosis in the Gay and Lesbian Community Alcoholism and drug addiction is a fatal chronic illness affecting the lives of 20 to 30% of the gay population (Ziebold ; Mongeon, 1982). Studies have found that 35% of lesbians had a history of excessive drinking, compared to only 5% of the heterosexual women in the sample (Saghir, 1970; Lewis, 1982). Approximately 30% of lesbians and gay men are addicted to drugs (Rofes, 1983). The facts show that the homosexual community constitutes a high-risk population with regard to alcoholism, drug addiction and dual diagnosis.

Why is drug addiction and alcohol addiction such a problem?It is important not to assume that homosexuality causes gay drug rehabor gay alcohol addiction. When gays, lesbians and bisexuals internalize society's homophobic attitudes and beliefs, the results can be devastating. Society's hatred becomes self-hatred. As a minority group; gays, lesbians and bisexuals are victims of systemic and ongoing oppression. It can lead to feelings of alienation, despair, low self-esteem, self-destructive behaviour, and drug addiction (Nicoloff & Stiglitz, 1987). Some gays, lesbians and bisexuals resort to drug abuse or alcohol abuse as a means to numb the feelings of being different, to relieve emotional pain or to reduce inhibitions about their sexual feelings. Drug abuse or alcohol abuse often begins in early adolescence when youth first begin to struggle with their sexual orientation. When surrounded by messages telling you are wrong and sick for who you are, eventually you begin to believe it. Having to hide your identity and deal with homophobic comments and attitudes- often made by unknowing friends and family - can have a profound effect on you. Lesbians and gay men are also 7 times more likely to be the victims of crimes than the average citizen (National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, 1984). In response to this overwhelming oppression and homophobia, many lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals use alcohol and drugs to cope.

Homophobia in our society has limited the opportunities for gays and lesbians to meet each other safely. The gay bar culture emerged as a place to find other gays and lesbians without fear of harassment. The gay bar is a seductive institution. It is the most available place where people can explore being gay and socialize. There is also a lack of alternative alcohol-free places and occasions to socialize within the gay community. This only intensifies the implied connection between drinking and socializing in gay and lesbian social circles.

For those gay addicts or gay alcoholics seeking drug rehab or alcohol rehab, there are gay drug rehabs, gay alcohol rehabs or drug rehabs with gay addiction treatment components where a gay or lesbian can expect to receive addiction treatment in a safe, gay friendly environment.

Suicide

More gays and lesbians have considered suicide an option than heterosexuals (Bell & Weinberg, 1978). Lesbian and gay youth are 2 to 6 times more likely to attempt suicide than other youth, and may account for 30% of all completed suicides among teens, although they account for only about 10% of teens (Cook, 1991). This in conjunction with a high incidence of drug use and alcohol abuse, would lead one to believe that dual diagnosis in the gay community is higher than that of the heterosexual community. If you are looking for alcohol rehab or a gay friendly addiction treatment program, you can call Recovery Connection, a national referral helpline, at 1-800-511-9225.

Jonathan Huttner is a principal of Lakeview Health Systems, a drug rehab specializing in addiction treatment, with a gay friendly drug rehab for the gay community...http://www.lakeviewfreedomrings.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jonathan_Huttner

By   Sat, Jan 23, 2010

Anna's Caramel Fried Apple Pies

Wilbert's Italian Cream Cake

Sally's Udon Style Japanese Soup

Send in your favorite recipes to editor@joined-together.net