If you and your mate have been through it all and have decided to start your relationship anew then here are a few tips to manifest your renewal.  Starting anew means just that.  Everyone gets a clean slate.  You must both forgive and forget in order to move on.  Moving on does not mean giving someone a free pass to do what they have done before, but it does mean that you do not bring up past failures.  If you have a big fight, that does not give you a free pass to bring up the past. 

Trusting completely is another step towards moving away from a painful experience.  Breaking trust can happen in many ways.  Hanging someone on the cross every time you are suspicious is not a positive step forward.  Either you trust or you do not.  The person who has done the betraying can only promise to do right by you.  They cannot prove themselves unless you give them the chance. 

Try to get into the other person's head.  Try to understand that although they are expressing themselves badly, they are hurt and afraid.  Hear what they are truly saying instead of what they appear to be saying. 

Do not react to provocation.  Just because your mate is behaving badly does not justify you doing the same type of behavior.  Choose your words. Choose when you will discuss the problem.  Stay in control of yourself and remember you cannot control your mate. 

Change your old patterns.  If she comes home late, stop imagining her getting a little something from the hottie with whom she works.  When she gets home, greet her with loving open arms instead of anger and suspicion.

Begin new rituals that restore intimacy.  Date night is always a great first step.  NOTHING gets in the way of date night. 

If he loves the rodeo, then go to the rodeo with him.  Do not try to love the rodeo, instead watch him enjoying the rodeo.  Love him loving the rodeo. 

Take a weekend getaway as often as possible.  Seeing someone in a different, relaxed environment is a great way to get reacquainted.  You need not fly to Hawaii, just go to the motel down the street and have a swim.

See only the positive in your mate.  See all that she does right instead of all that she does wrong.  Do the same with yourself.  See only what you do right in the relationship.  Seeing positives creates more of the same in the relationship.

Have a meeting once a week to discuss your relationship.  Be calm, be loving and be nurturing.  Practice active listening.  Hear what is said and repeat it back to your partner.

Be willing to experiment.  Work the plan you set with your mate.  Pay attention to what your mate is going through instead of just how it affects you.  Be as good to your mate as you are to your best friend.  Remember that ultimately this is the person with whom you have chosen to spend your life and the quality of that life is as dependent on your actions and thoughts and feelings as it is hers. 

By Kellie Lee Owen

Kellie Lee Owen is a writer, an Energy Therapist and a work in progress.  She inspires her clients and readers to get really clear about their thinking.  Our thinking creates our reality.  Think well, live well.