When gay couples chose to begin a family, it is a choice. Whether they have children through adoption, birth, fostering, step-parenting or surrogacy, they are judged because of stereo typing and lack recognition as a traditional family unit.  Making a decision to have a family is not easy for anyone in today's world. Having children has its pros and cons. Gay couples who decide to have children face an even greater challenge because of the way that society looks at the family unit. Many gay couples desire to become parents; others assume that being gay means they have to forfeit this opportunity and have been surprised to realize that having children is now an option that's open to them.

All parents make a life long commitment to their children whether they are gay or straight. They look back on their childhood and the relationship they had with their families. They assess how their family functioned, the stability and security that was involved and they look at how past intimate relationships have affected them. Gay couples have to also look at their support network. Will family and friends agree with their decision, or will they be met with criticism at every turn. Do they care? How will having children affect their lives?