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July 2011, Featured Articles, MY SAME-SEX RELATIONSHIP MATTERS

FOR ADULTS ONLY: Amanda's Wonderland Dental Dams

By Amanda Clark   Fri, Jul 01, 2011

Amanda's Wonderland: where no question is too outrageous to be answered

Dental Dams:  Not just for the ladies anymore

As a lesbian, I always wondered about the term "dental dam":  I was curious.  What is it?  What’s it for?  Where do you get them?  Why do you need them?   Etc.  So, being the sponge for knowledge that I am, I looked up everything I could to learn about them.

Gentlemen, listen up because this is not just for lesbians.

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By Amanda Clark

Amanda Clark

Amanda is a Family Support Worker for a social work agency based in Kansas.  She has an Associates degree in Psychology and will soon have her Bachelor's degree in that field as well. Her position as a family support worker has given her much insight into the struggles and torments LGBT people are still facing today.

She has been writing stories and poems for pleasure since she can remember and is very artistic. Amanda is very active in the LGBT community and involved with the HRC. She takes any opportunity she can to be an activist and educator when facing those who oppose her lifestyle choice. She jumped at the opportunity to write for this magazine because she feels she has so much to share with the world and her fellow LGBT community. Her favorite color is sparkle and her favorite word to date is facetious.

Also, she likes pineapples and plans to change the world one kindness at a time.

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Comments(10):

  1. I never,,,

    ...even heard of a dental dam before!!! Very interesting. What other kinds of information can you share with me? for example i feel so stupid when it comes to the bedroom that i dont even know what to ask or where to start....? help

    Saturday, July 02, 2011 Lillith

  2. Wow...

    It's so hard to find somewhere that provides advice for those of us in a same sex relationship that have questions. I heard about this from a friend, and I have a question. I don't know if you can help me with this or not, but I'm hoping you can. My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months, and anymore it seems as though nothing I do excites her anymore....I was wondering if you had any advice on what I could do in order to bring our relationship back to life. I'm afraid that if something doesn't change soon, that our relationship might just turn into a friendship....can you please help?

    Saturday, July 02, 2011 Jaquie

  3. in addition....

    I realize that a relationship isn't all about sex...but it seems that there is something missing....the passion that once was there has faded, I've heard of this happening over long relationships, but we've only been together for a few months....am I doing something wrong?

    Saturday, July 02, 2011 Jaquie

  4. OMG!

    I totally love this section! it is so informative! Who knew that you could make a dental dam out of a condom or Saran wrap! I definitely think you should keep this section! it is so helpful!

    Saturday, July 02, 2011 Alecsis

  5. Dear Lillith

    For many people the bedroom in a scary place full of unknowns, and vulnerability. First of all you have to be comfortable with yourself and your partner before you can go any further. Being open about sex is important. You need to be able to express your wants and desires so your partner knows what to do and what you like. Give the bedroom communication a try and then let me know if you have a more specific question.

    Sunday, July 03, 2011 Amanda

  6. Dear Alecsis

    Thank you so much. I'm glad you found this article...this page in general helpful. I'm always up for ideas on topics or answering questions/giving advice you may need. Feel free to ask anything.

    Sunday, July 03, 2011 Amanda

  7. Dear Jaquie

    Relationships are hard enough without having to worry about the bedroom. But I will do my best to answer your question. I am assuming you are the butch: the way you type implies you feel the need to take control. (sorry if I am wrong on this assumption). However, control is something that is to be shared in the bedroom. You're relationship is new which means you are still in the process of letting go of old baggage and negatives that you may have stuck in your mind. This is what you need to remember, passion is important, and not just one sided. Learn her quarks...does she like showers before sex? Suggest a shower together where you do some smoochin' but don't take it too far at that point. When you kiss her, make her heart stop momentarily by being spontaneous and taking SOME control. It's not about how you kiss, it's about how passionate the kiss...remember foreplay for most women (especially with most girly girls) starts at the beginning of the day and lasts until the actual act of sex. Seduce her, leave her love notes she'll find randomly, be open and communicate, but don't expect anything from her you aren't willing to do yourself. Romance her when she least expects it and I guarantee she'll be putty in your hands. (if your willing to put in the work it will take for you to be her equal in the bedroom). I hope this helps.

    Sunday, July 03, 2011 Amanda

  8. I was wondering....

    In your article, you say that dental dams are a good protection from STD's...but, do they have a percentage rate like every other contraceptive (ie condoms, diaphragms). I know if you use a condom for the dental damn, then you probably have the same percentage rate, but if one were to purchase a real dental dam, what is the percentage rate on that? Another question I have, what do you do if you find yourself in a position in which both partners prefer to do the pleasing instead of the receiving? Is there a way to come to a compromise with this? Or do you just have a relationship with no sexual contact? I have friends who are in this type of a relationship, one where they would both rather do the pleasing instead of the receiving, and I honestly don't see how they are capable of saying they're in a relationship. Relationships need some sort of passion in the bedroom in order to make them work don't they? I don't know, maybe I have too many expectations, but I personally don't think I could be in a relationship in which sex was non-existent or very rarely practiced. What do you think?

    Wednesday, July 06, 2011 Betsy

  9. Dear Betsy

    I have found some links that may help answer your questions: http://www-cgi.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/condoms/HQ00463.html http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe_sex (on this one scroll down to the section labeled 'Barriers' Hope this helps. -Amanda

    Thursday, July 07, 2011 Amanda

  10. Well that didn't post well...lets try this again...

    http://www-cgi.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/condoms/HQ00463.html OR http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe_sex (on this one scroll down to the section labeled 'Barriers' Hope this helps. -Amanda

    Thursday, July 07, 2011 Amanda

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