Perfection and Your Mate

We want them to help us live better lives, support us when we are down and make everything all right again when we are hurting.  We want it all and we deserve it.

If your mate leaves his socks on the floor and is a bit slovenly in his bathroom habits, but is sweet to his insane in-laws, then find a compromise.  The question is not perfection in and of itself, so much as perfection as we define it.

The first step to perfection is to understand it does not exist as defined by others.  It is we who must identify it for ourselves.  We must also understand that picking up another person's socks is not paramount to becoming our abused mothers.  On the other hand, a mate who drinks until drunk night after night is not okay and paying for her liquor because she cannot find a job does make us abused as well as an enabler.

Perfection is balance.  Pick up his socks because he is willing to pay the rent so you can write your book.  You do this out of love, not obligation.  Make her dinner because she has had a hard day and needs some TLC.  Get him into an intervention program if he is s drug addict, but do not buy his drugs.  Pay the electric bill for six months while he is recovering from neuropathy.  Vacuum while she does the windows; cook when he does the dishes.  Balance, balance, balance.

Understanding that perfection is not in the package, but in the heart, allows us to love someone with less than perfect abs.  Nagging him to get perfect abs is imbalance and your issue, not his.  On the other hand, working with him to get him to exercise because he has high blood pressure is balance.

Love in spite of .  Love what is perfection as defined by you and only you.  Get clear about how you define perfection.  It is completely okay to love perfect abs, but needing them to love someone is not okay.  Understanding the difference is paramount to a healthy relationship.

Love balance, love health, love socks on the floor, love your favorite meal waiting for you when you get home, love the way she loves your wobbly arms, love because perfection is in the eye of the beholder and you are the beholder.

By Kellie Lee Owen

Kellie Lee Owen is a writer, an Energy Therapist and a work in progress.  She inspires her clients and readers to get really clear about their thinking.  Our thinking creates our reality.  Think well, live well.