Historically red-state North Carolina is the only southern state to hold off a marriage discrimination amendment, but that could change. In early 2009, conservative state lawmakers proposed House Bill 361/ Senate Bill 272 - legislation that would not just prohibit same sex marriage but also prohibit any recognition of civil unions, domestic partnerships or similar relationships in the state. This is not surprising. Similar legislation has been introduced several times over the past few years. Nor is it dampening the determination of those who support marriage equality.

From the perspective of 27-year-old activist Jeff Olson, fighting to end discrimination against the LGBT community is the duty of everyone in the community throughout the world. He has a vision of a world where everyone is welcomed and affirmed. It is a vision he is willing to fight for:

"How are we to make changes and improve the quality of life if we don't get out there ourselves and get involved? The more visible we are, the more society will start to see us as part of the community. This is a responsibility of all members of any community. I also feel obligated to prevent LGBT folks, [including teens], from being discriminated against," says Olson, 27, and a three-year resident of North Carolina.

When he moved to North Carolina in 2007, he had already come out to family and friends and, as such, felt free and motivated to be actively involved. (Read Jeff's Coming Out Story in our Living the Life section.)

Progress Made

To most LGBT people, North Carolina would not be high on the list of places where one might expect to live a free and open life. It would not be a first-choice destination for enjoying equal rights either. Like other states, however, North Carolina is as diverse as its growing population and definitive progress is being made. Also like most other states, that progress tends to be most notable among highly-educated, economically-diverse, urban populations - a notion confirmed by Olson and recent legislative actions.

"You don't see many - if any - gay clubs or organizations in the smaller towns simply because the majority of people who reside there are not [as highly] educated or accepting of LGBT people, and LGBT people may feel somewhat afraid to expose this side of themselves around people who know them and their families," notes Olson. "Urban areas are more diverse with all kinds of people with various backgrounds, and it's easier to blend in with the crowd. Everyone wants a place where they can be themselves and not worry about who might see them, and [living in a bigger city is] a great way to meet new friends from other areas. Don't get me wrong, North Carolina still has a lot of discrimination against LGBT people, but it's been good to have places where we can socialize with others like us."

On December 15, 2009, the Commissioners of North Carolina's largest county, Mecklenburg County voted 6 - 3 to begin offering equal benefits to same-sex domestic partners of county employees. Mecklenburg, with its nearly 1 million residents, includes the city of Charlotte, eight Fortune 500 company headquarters, and seven colleges and universities. It is also the home of the Billy Graham Library. Several other local governments also offer these benefits, including the cities of Carrboro, Chapel Hill, Durham, and Greensboro, as well as Orange County.

Work Yet to Do

According to a March 2009 poll commissioned by the conservative North Carolina Family Policy Council, 73 percent of 5,000 respondents said they would likely back an amendment that defined marriage as "the union of one man and one woman," while 17 percent said they would be unlikely to support such an amendment and 10 percent said they weren't sure of their position. On the other hand, an Elon University Poll, also conducted in March indicated respondents were almost evenly split on the idea of a marriage amendment. The difference in the poll results, however, seems to derive largely from how the questions in each poll were phrased. Preserving marriage between one man and one woman is not universally recognized or understood as necessitating the denial of rights for some 1,100 same gender couples.

Seemingly up for the task of ending codified discrimination in North Carolina, Equality North Carolina is a statewide group dedicated to securing equal rights and justice for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender [LGBT] people. They lobby the North Carolina General Assembly, executive branch, and local governments on issues like inclusive anti-bullying policies, which passed as S.B. 526 in a 63 - 51 vote of the Assembly in June 2009, with explicit protections for LGBT youth in schools. They are also fighting against employment discrimination, hate violence, privacy rights, sexuality education, adoption, domestic partnership, HIV/AIDS, and more.

Working in communities from Asheville in the mountain west to Wilmington on the Atlantic coast, the success of Equality North Carolina depends in large part upon the support of major North Carolina foundations such as Z. Smith Reynolds, corporate partners such as Food Lion, and individuals in the trenches such as Olson. Olson's belief that North Carolina is on its way to recognizing gay marriage in the near future keeps him going. He says, "If I don't have that vision, what's the point in fighting for it? If I don't believe, it probably won't happen. I have to believe it will be soon because I want to be legally married when [that] time comes...in my life, and I want it to be recognized and [to] not be treated as a second-class citizen as we have been for decades."

The challenge is great, though not without hope. A broad cross-section of North Carolina's diverse population succeeded in making it one of the few red states to help put Barack Obama in the White House as this nation's first African American president. North Carolina's population of just over 8 million is only 22 percent African American, with seven percent of Hispanic or Latin descent, according to the 2008 U.S. Census estimates. While neither of these communities seems to have embraced the fight for marriage equality on any meaningful scale, there are indications that marriage in the black LGBT community is on the rise. Moreover, the once almost exclusively white leadership most visibly at the forefront of the movement for marriage equality is now peppered with leaders representing all ethnic and national heritages. This is an important step forward. To achieve its goals, the face of the movement for marriage equality must be seen in all our communities. As noted by Olson, "The black community could never have achieved freedom from slavery or equal rights had they not all joined forces [with whites and other minority groups] to demand those changes."

By Delena Wilkerson

Delena is the publisher and editor of 10,000 Couples magazine. Over the past 25 years Delena has published many articles, edited a national newsletter, and been both author and editor of several how-to books on financial management for nonprofits.  Some of these experiences might even help with this latest venture.  For certain, her experiences at the helm of a local nonprofit organization taught her how to get the job done with minimal resources.  She is a graduate of Livingstone College in North Carolina and the University of Chicago's School of Social Service Administration.  Delena currently lives in Oak Park, IL with her spouse and son, cat and koi.